Session Summary
Session Hosts: Dr. Lindsay Nanninga & Michele Hannay
Session Objectives:
At the end of this webinar, you will be able to:
- Describe and demonstrate the 5 steps for effectively delivering feedback to others.
- Practice receiving feedback in a manner that results in personal growth and strengthened relationships.
Recommended Resources:
- Session Recording
- Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D: Mindset: The New Psychology of Success
- Marshall Goldsmith: What Got You Here Won’t Get You There
Session Highlights & Themes:
- Often, giving feedback is ineffective – either too indirect of value for the recipient or so direct that it creates defensiveness and ‘amygdala hijack’
- Receiving feedback can also trigger the top three aspects of the primordial ‘feararchy’:
- Fear of ego death – which often looks like shame and humiliation.
- Fear of separation – which is related to being rejected or abandoned, and
- Fear of loss of autonomy, which is about feeling restricted or controlled.
- To avoid the above and causing the fight/flight/flee/fawn response in the recipient, a five-step delivery process can be helpful:
5 Step Feedback Formula
- Ask permission: Let the person know that you have some feedback to share and to ask permission to share it. This way the person isn’t blindsided and can prepare mentally to receive the feedback. Giving them the option of not hearing the feedback – or if it’s critical that they hear it – the option of WHEN they hear the feedback, gives them a sense of control.
- State your intention: Let them know that your intention is good – you want to support them in being successful, not punish or scold.
- State the facts: Get specific and objective about the ‘behaviour’ observed. It’s important not to imply that it’s related to the person’s innate character – just be specific and objective about what you saw or heard.
- Impact statement: Spell out the natural consequences of the behaviour – the impact that it has or had from your perspective.
- End with a request and a question: Wrap up the feedback with a request for what would be preferred behaviour moving forward – making it clear for the recipient. Then, finish with a question that invites discussion and creative problem solving. A statement and question like “This is what I’m thinking should happen next time, but what are your thoughts on it?” creates commitment – not just compliance. It becomes a joint problem-solving conversation.
TIPS
- Keep it timely – provide feedback as soon as possible following the behaviour/event
- Positive feedback is the most effective for behaviour change – especially when the person is helped to see how their actions fit in to the bigger picture
- People prefer positive feedback in different ways - 1:1, with the full team, in writing, etc – so it’s a good idea to ask
Receiving Feedback
- Detach and try to view it objectively – what about it could be true? What’s not?
- To maintain a sense of autonomy, thank the giver and ask to receive the feedback at a later time if you’re not feeling ready
- Ask for FEED FORWARD (Marshall Goldsmith):
- ‘Pull’ feedback by selecting an area you’d like to grow in
- Request ‘in the future’ feedback from a few people you trust
- Thank them when they do provide feedback to make it a positive experience